I’ve come a long way, but I’ve still got some miles to move.
I’ve grown stronger in loosening my grip on the plans for my life and allowing Him to move and sway in the way that only He can with the vast perspective of a loving Father who can only be good. He is so faithful and good.
But this last week, I have found myself falling back into clenched fists and a passive aggressive litany of reminders.
“You do remember You promised…”
“Don’t forget that…”
“I know You are faithful, but God you are slow…”
“If you need my opinion, I think it’d be great if…”
“What if You just…”
How bizarrely haughty of me to somehow think that the God of the universe needs my help?
This morning I woke, and as is often my custom, I began my conversation with Him as my feet hit the floor to begin the day. Almost instantly, my hurry of the morning turned to worry in my soul, and once again I began the faithful prayers of a fretting fool. I walked to the bathroom calendar and flipped the page. It’s the first thing I do almost every morning. And it hit me like a punch in the gut. In my reminders to Him to hurry and move and do what He’d said He’d do, He reminded me…
“Wait for the Lord. Be strong and brave, and wait for the Lord’s help.” Psalm 27:14
You see, I have two choices, really. I can shout my reminders from the subconscious of my soul. I can take back the itinerary and begin making marks across the pages. I can go out in search of my own way that will likely be good.
Or I can wait.
I can be strong and brave and wait on the Lord knowing that His ways are higher than mine. His timing is not my own. He sees every moment, every yearning, every need, and every tear. And if my way is good, His way is better.
Jesus is always better.
And so I wait.
Maybe you’re waiting too. You’re not alone, friend. I’m here. In the waiting. Know that we are never more beautiful to Him than when we are standing strong and brave– in the waiting. Hang on, His help is on the way.