It’s been a while. I haven’t written in nearly two months. I could say I have been in a writer’s slump, but I think it’s more accurately described as a life funk. Propelling myself forward at lightning speed and allowing the chaos to overtake the quiet.
Don’t get me wrong. Life is good. It’s more than good. I’m crazy blessed and there is so much to be thankful for each day. But I find myself longing for more.
Lord, I want more of you. I want to be used more for your glory. I want more peace. I want more of your provision. I want to see more of your power. I want to be more like you. More patient. More bold. More joyful. More kind. Lord, I need more.
I was walking through the living room when all of a sudden, I employed my cat-like motherly reflexes to catch my middle who was propelling himself through the air. “Momma, catch me!” His giggles filled the air as I instinctively caught him and twirled him around. “Throw me in the air, Momma!” I carefully launched him on to the cushion of the sofa as he quickly bounced up ready to go again.
I noticed the watching eyes of his little brother taking it all in. He ran over. “Momma, do me! I wanna do like that!” I picked up his tiny body and twirled him around just the same. I felt his little hands grip into my arm and cling tight to my shirt. As I began to prepare to gently drop him the close distance to the sofa, his face turned to panic. “Momma, no!!! Don’t let me go! I don’t want to do that. I too scared! No, Momma, no!!”
He had asked for more. The thrill. The excitement. The launch. And when it was delivered, he cowered in fear.
Here’s the thing about the fulfillment of more. It must begin with the presence of less.
I cannot expect bravery to overcome without fear. I cannot expect for God to provide for me if I do not first lack provision. I cannot experience an abundance of peace without first having an element of uncertainty. I cannot be more patient without a period of waiting. I cannot experience His glory and power breaking through if there is not a breakthrough needed. And I cannot have more joy without being faced with situations that force me to choose joy in spite of emotion.
How often do we see the lives of others, attributes, or circumstances we long for, and we run to the Father saying, “Do that for me!” And yet, when we are on the cusp of all that is needed for more to unravel in our lives, we long to shrink back into less. Nevermind, Lord! Put me back, Lord! I’m too scared, Lord!
The defining moments of our lives happen when we propel ourselves headlong into the arms of our good God, and stay in the twirl, stay in the adventure, stay in the launch… because where less lies is the birthplace for more.
Recognize those moments not as opportunities for fear to thrust us backward into complacency, but rather as a potential to fight the fear and panic and remain in the arms of the Father to discover all He has created us to be…
Where bravery overcomes. Where provision is discovered. Where peace wins over doubt. Where patience prevails. Where breakthrough is witnessed. Where joy explodes in sorrow. Where less becomes more…