Give

At the end of last year, we decided to sell our house. Before we bought it, we had intended to build on the land I grew up on, but we (mostly I) got cold feet so we bought a house instead. It wasn’t long before we realized that we really did want to be in the country, so we put the house up for sale.

Everything fell into place seamlessly. We had a buyer in days. The appraisal came back great. The only problem was our new house was not built yet. Rather than renting, our very close family friend (who really is like my sister) offered for us to take up residence at her house until our house was done… thereby granting her instant access into the kingdom of heaven and likely being considered for sainthood.

And so, within the last few weeks, we have packed nearly everything of importance into 150 square feet of storage, sold off much of what wasn’t very important, and moved our family of four and a half into about 250 square feet of her spare bedrooms. It is a humbling and interesting experience to take your life, which existed in nearly 3,000 square feet, and condense it down to about 400.

As my very emotional and very pregnant self went through the process of deciding what to keep and what to sell, what to pack and what to take, it was very bittersweet seeing items that I had owned for years being carted off by strangers simply in an attempt to make room. The only thing that kept me hanging on was the idea of starting fresh, the idea that I was making room for something new.

At the beginning of the year, right on the brink of my turmoil, I felt a constant urging to pray for an acquaintance of mine. A girl I know from several years ago, with whom I keep in contact on social media, but really don’t know extremely well. More than just praying for her, I felt the urgency to make a commitment to pray daily for her. I have never felt led to do anything like this before, but I began praying. A very strange thing started to happen. In the moments that I felt most overwhelmed, I felt an urgency, “Pray for her.” In the bustle of trying to get my own kids out of the house, “Pray for her.” In the insanity of supper time and bath time, “Pray for her.” In my weakest, most trying moments, “Pray for her.”

It was puzzling really. Why God? Why are you leading me to pray for someone else when these are the moments when I need prayer? I’m weak. I’m overwhelmed. What about me?

But I kept praying.

After a very short time, something even stranger began to happen. Sometimes hours, sometimes mere moments after I would whisper a prayer… I began to receive messages from another woman in my life. “Erin, I’m praying for you. Praying for God to give you strength.” Messages of encouragement and affirmation that spoke to me right when I needed them most.

I felt like I had been giving when I had nothing left to give. When I was in my weakest moments, I was being emptied even more. But one day I realized, it was a lot like my move. I moved, in faith. And sold, until there was nothing. I stood looking at what I once thought was my dream house, empty. Void of all I had done to make it mine. But all of it was in an effort to make room for the new. To start fresh.

Sometimes, we are called to give when we feel that we have nothing. We are called to go out on a limb and empty ourselves of what WE have worked so hard to fill our lives with. And when we do, we are making room. Room for God to bless us with something great. Room for His plan to come to fruition. Room to finally see something better than we ever could have imagined.

Give until you have nothing, and then you will have room for more….