Firsts and Lasts

Life is a funny thing. It is filled with many monumental moments that, at the time, we don’t even realize are monumental. Firsts and lasts lived in nonchalant, everyday monotony. The last hug we ever got from a loved one. The first kiss from what would become our spouse. The last conversation had before they were gone too soon. The first time we met that new friend. The last time our kids climbed up in our lap or held our hand on the way to school.

Firsts and Lasts.

Yesterday we took our sweet, nine day old Roman to church for the very first time. This time, it was a first worth noting. A special outfit. Combed hair. Nerves that he would do okay through the service. He was an angel, and it was perfect.

It was toward the end of worship that our dear pastor got up and said, “I just feel led to share this this morning.” I waited to hear what he had to say. And then I heard the familiar words, “In Isaiah 6, it says, ‘In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple…’”

It was from this scripture that my Daddy heard his last sermon before being taken much too soon nearly 26 years ago. We didn’t realize it at the time, but it was his last. A last that we didn’t think to note. We never realized the importance of that Sunday. And then he was gone.

Our Pastor went on to say that King Uzziah was a good king, and Isaiah looked to him with such admiration. And so it says, “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord.” A king who he respected and loved and looked to for guidance was taken from him, but it was then—in all of his pain—that he saw the Lord in all of His glorious splendor. His greatest joy—seeing the glory of the Lord—was brought about through his greatest pain—losing his beloved king.

As we walked out of church, my mom said, “Did you realize the significance of that?” “Of course. That was the last sermon Daddy ever heard.” “Yes, and the first one Roman ever heard. It all came full circle. Three beautiful boys, your greatest joy from your greatest pain.”

Sometimes, God takes things out of our lives that don’t make sense to us. Twenty-six years later, I still mourn the loss of my Daddy. I still don’t understand why God chose to take him so soon. But I know this, losing my Daddy made us all have to focus on God a little bit more. It made us all rely on His strength to get us through. And it is through that reliance that our lives have been built on the foundation that His faithfulness and strength will get us through.

And in twenty-six years, I can say, I have seen the Lord, high and lifted up. In all of His glory and splendor, I have seen Him at work in my life. Sometimes that has meant pain, with the “kings” of my life being removed so I could better see the grandeur of His love for me. But I know that He is the true First and Last. The Author and the Finisher of my faith. And through it all, His faithfulness has never wavered, His strength has always remained…