National Rainbow Baby Day. This week my newsfeed became flooded with precious pictures of rainbow babies. Darling gifts that came after harrowing loss and deserved to be celebrated and held close. I felt my eyes grow misty as I saw the sweet little faces– a gift to so many mommas. And yet, I would imagine it is a bit of double-edged sword having a rainbow baby– a gut-wrenching reminder of loss and a shift to reverent redemption. A mother’s heart…
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” It’s a common question, a fair question. It is a question I have thought about personally and projected upon others. Tell me about your five year plan. Yesterday, I found myself donning my sweet husband’s crocs (camo crocs at that…), driving a tractor that six months ago I almost ran through our house because I didn’t know how to use the clutch, and ending up covered in mud pulling a four wheeler…
Listen, I’m just going to be really honest with you, this week we had a discussion about moving again. I know, I know. What the heck is wrong with us?? The grass is hardly grown up under us and here we are thinking about getting the heck out of dodge. We were out on an evening ice cream run driving down country roads and looking at real estate. It’s kind of like my Pinterest board full of wedding dresses. I’m…
It was less than ten days until Christmas. My eyes struggled to open from the weight of my weariness—not only in my body, but in my heart. I tried to decipher if my reality was a dream before my feet hit the floor. This was really happening. The trouble with time (according to an old haiku my mom wrote and likes to brag about) is that it waits for no man. So when you stand at a grave site in…
My sweet husband works hard. He does not rest. He is persistent and ambitious and selfless in ways that make me wonder if somehow, I married a super human. He takes no time for hobbies, except… Clash of Clans. After YEARS of his loyalty to building his… (clan, kingdom, tribe?) whatever it’s called… I have learned to recognize the signs. Phone turned sideways, half-distracted nods, and the hurry to attack within the allotted time frame. It is his one and…
I am a momma to three boys. I remember once I was grocery shopping with the three of them (pre-grocery pickup era—and all God’s mommas said, “Hallelujah!”). An older gentleman saw us and asked, “Are they all yours?” From the tone of his voice, you’d have sworn I had 15 of them. I was indignant, offended, and slighted. But like any good Southern lady, I flashed him my kindest, most polite smile and said, “Yes sir, they sure are. They…
It was one of those picturesque, gorgeous days. A welcome reprieve after the mess of rain and mist that we’d previously seen. The sun was shining brightly through the trees, and the only real sound was the wind gently rustling the leaves. And then through the quiet came a piercing scream. You know the kind. A mother’s worst nightmare. The kind that stops you dead in your tracks and sends you running in its direction. The trouble with living in…
It was 3am. The alarm went off, but it didn’t wake me. I had been awake listening to the sound of the rain for hours. Tears filled my eyes and streamed down my face knowing that sweet husband was going to have to leave for work, and I would be left alone– in the middle of the woods, in the middle of a state that was brand new, in a muddy mess of a driveway and yard that I was…
I have to confess that before having kids I was one of those moms. And if you read that sentence carefully, you will see the glaringly obvious issue… before I had kids. Among the many opinions that have long since fallen away with ten years of actual maternal wisdom: I was of the firm conviction that my child was NOT going to go to daycare. I’m not sure how I envisioned that working so perfectly being a working mom myself….
One of my goals for the new year is to memorize more scripture. When I was a little girl in Sunday school and Children’s Church and Wednesday night youth, I memorized a LOT of scripture. I didn’t just know God’s word, but I knew where to find it and how to reference it and had it hidden in my pocket when I needed it. As an adult, I still spend time with God and know His word, sure. But I…