Kiss Her, Daddy
We often make the joke that round about the time my vacation time starts, that is usually when sweet husband gets called right back to work. But May ended and summer vacation started, and miraculously, we have had quite a few days together. Heavenly…
A few days ago, we were standing in the kitchen talking while the boys were sitting at their breakfast table giggling and talking like brothers do. Suddenly, the oldest shouted out, “Kiss her, Daddy!” We laughed and looked at each other a little taken aback because that is not the kind of thing you expect from your four year old at mealtime. But sweet husband is not one to back down from a challenge so he grabbed me around the waist and planted a sweet but firm kiss right on the lips. Both boys erupted into cheers like it was a fourth quarter win during the playoffs.
We were riding in the truck alone one day and my question started as most of mine often start, “This might not make sense, but…” I thought for a moment. “Do you think it is a momma’s job to teach boys how to treat a lady? And a daddy’s job to teach girls how to be treated? Or vice versa?” We discussed this for a moment and ultimately came to the conclusion that it is the job of both. Boys will treat ladies how their mother demanded they treat her, also how they see their daddy treat women. Girls will expect to be treated in the way they were treated by their daddy as well as how they watched their mother allow herself to be treated. Let that soak in.
Parenting is a tricky thing. You know, I always thought I went into it with a pretty good understanding of how it should work. But several years in, I am beginning to learn that what I originally considered my most fundamental responsibility is not quite what I always thought. In fact, my belief systems about my role as a parent seem to be taking a tremendous turn. So here it is…
The most obvious and important role for me as a parent is obviously to teach my children to love Jesus. But that’s a whole separate writing assignment. I always thought I should focus on teaching my children manners, good behavior, self-sufficiency. Those things are important, vital even, but not the most important thing.
The paramount task of our parenting career, I believe, is this… to teach our children what it looks like to be a husband and a wife. As they get older, it is likely that the defining role of their life will not be engineer or nurse, but rather husband or wife. It is probable that at four we are probably drilling things like please, thank you, letters, colors. However, they are learning far more valuable lessons by simply watching our interactions with each other. We are creating the next generation of husbands and wives, mothers and fathers.
And with that in mind, think about your own relationship with your spouse. What message are you sending to the next generation?
Kiss her, Daddy…
Momma, hold him…
They are watching.