Why Not Now?
“I barely know you. I don’t know your dad’s first name. I don’t know if you ever wore braces, or contacts, or glasses and I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I do know the curves of your face. And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. I know that the night at the park was the best time I’ve ever had.”
Swoon. As Matthew McConaughey stands in the door frame saying those words to Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner I think every girl who has ever watched has felt her heart burst with romantic joy. It’s one of my favorite movies ever. I am a sad sucker for the romantic. And I’m pretty sure I always have been.
I can literally remember staring out of the window on car trips as a little girl with 90s country playing over the radio dreaming of the day I’d meet my husband. I can remember wondering when he would come, who he would be, what our lives would be like. And my heart couldn’t wait for that day when finally… (SPOILER ALERT. He was definitely worth the wait.)
At least 92 times a week, I find myself promising that I will get myself together “when…” When I have time to do a major cleaning and start fresh. When I’m not so busy and tired and can wake up earlier to run. When I have time to sit down and make a family menu of healthy recipes. When the money in the account grows. When I start praying more. When I feel like I’m ready. WHEN, I have come to realize, is the antagonist of my story, working daily to steal the joy and purpose in NOW.
I believe that I am an undercover gypsy. I love the romance of blissful wandering, but I am caught in the clutches of careful planning. So instead of allowing myself to control the moment, I am hindered by my lack of control of the future. It’s a bizarre paradox. Rather than grasping the moment I can, I worry over the moments beyond my grasp.
As mothers, wives, women, I believe we are robbed of our daily purpose by seeking a future plan. Can I let you in on a little secret? WHEN is elusive. When will never arrive. We only have NOW. It’s time to grab hold of the reins of our life and kick WHEN out the door and work toward a better NOW. Every moment that we have is fresh. Every second new. So let’s focus on enjoying the present seconds of our moments.
When carries expectations that will never be met.
When sets milestones that may never be reached.
When assumes failure on a story that is not finished.
Now offers the opportunity to grab hold of this moment.
Now invites us to take next steps.
Now allows the freedom to keep writing the chapters.
Today, make the decision to remove yourself from the prison of WHEN and begin to walk in the freedom of NOW. It’s sort of a romantic, gypsy way to live. Are you with me?
